SIN

I hate the dark.
My mind will run w i l d in a dark room.
I hate coming home to a dark house.
I hate walking across my apartment parking lot at night.
I just hate the dark.
One of my favorite feelings is when I am in the dark and then all of a sudden... light breaks through.

In those moments in the dark, when my mind is racing...what am I longing for?
LIGHT. I long for light.
Once I turn on the light instantly all my fears are gone.
Why?
Because I am not so much afraid of the dark as I am afraid of what's IN the dark.
You see, the light exposes whatever is hiding in darkness.

Spiritual darkness works the same way. But we don't really like to talk about it...
I wish I always longed for the light to expose my darkness, my sin.
Rather than judgement, I wish we prayed earnestly on behalf of others' weaknesses.
I wish I was as scared of my spiritual darkness as I am of physical darkness.
I wish I longed for the Light to shine upon me and chase out my sin. Just as light chases darkness out of a room.

I used to try and bury my sin. Hide it away. Tuck it away where no one could see it or find it.
I clung to my spiritual darkness. As ironic and untrue as it is, I felt safer in the dark because no one could see me. Except of course, the only One who matters.
In a very humbling way, a few years ago, God finally exposed the sin I had been struggling with.
Although at first the light blinded me and the exposure was absolutely terrifying I quickly realized how much I had been longing for light all along.
As light began to pierce my darkness, I found the sin to be much less daunting and conquering than before. The light choked it. Sucked the life out of it.
Since I had been exposed I figured I might as well seek accountability.
As I sought this accountability do you know what I found?
Judgement? Hatred? Claims of hypocrisy?
Yes. From some.
But from others? Prayer. Understanding. Love. Wisdom. Encouragement.
Ultimately: I found God's power in my weakness. I found God's grace in my faults.

I think the devil is (temporarily) succeeding in many churches. I think he is succeeding in convincing God's people to bury our sin deeper and deeper and fight the war alone. God has shown me through His discipline how dangerous this "burying" is.
Nothing gets better unless you let Light in.

Don't listen to the lies of the enemy. I know he is pleading you to stay silent. I know he is telling you to fight your battles alone. I know he is whispering judgement in your ears.
They will never accept you. They will reject you. God will reject you. You won't be welcome, anymore. You won't have friends, anymore.
It isn't true. It just is NOT true.
Some will walk away. But some won't. Some will fight with you. I know. I've been there.
And even if everyone does walk away...God won't. God is fighting for His glory and your holiness. You are never too far.

The longer we bury our sin and refuse to deal with it the greater our sin becomes. 

While you think you are burying it deeper and deeper into the ground, covering it up with your shovel and dirt, your sin is spreading like wildfire and will soon sprout up where all can see. Sin grows as you allow it to linger. It doesn't stay the same size. It doesn't go away. It GROWS.

Not to mention-- your sin doesn't only hurt you.
You think you are handling it and it's under your control and no one else is suffering, right? That's. not. true. Someone else is suffering because your sin doesn't only affect you.

I think if we would quit faking perfection more people would see Jesus.
What if we stopped coming to God under false pretenses and instead allowed His light to flood into the dark places of our hearts?

I think if we quit burying our sin and started confessing it, God would be greatly glorified and we would be deeply sanctified.

God sees through whatever facade we are putting out there. He sees through it and He loves us enough to expose it.



Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

Matthew 23:27-28 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.